addiction, alternative, depression, free verse, grunge, improvisation, independent, literature, Uncategorized


Just like one line or one shot was supposed to kill me? Had a better chance of outliving half of all smokers, & that was when I was mixing coke & smack. Of course coke and smack wouldn’t have rat poison in them if you knew your dealer but every drag you take is chock full of delicious arsenic & benzene. I mean I shot speedballs dozens of times a day hoping to end it al in a glorious sleep from which I never wakel & half you lazy, hazy buggers get a slow, horrible way out, impotent, holes in the throat the type of cough that never shuts off. The warning is on every box but still I am the one who’s going to be stealing your meds while you struggle to swallow them. Don’t worry, I’ll never teach a friend to shoot. I really don’t care either way, I just can’t stand the gas-nosed, coke sniffing, self-methylating & speedballing with the one downer you never ever mix health trip. Ten years, half on the needle. Even the shittiest hard drugs are better than the best mass-manufactured bottle of beer & box of smokes. Like stats? Half of all smokers will die because they smoke. Combined between IV smack heads & speedballers I still got an extra 12%, more pleasure than you could handle without puking & dram keys to new dimensions and I don’t even want to be here tomorrow. I’ve had cigarettes, smack, ice, blow, nitrous & weed. What’ve you got? A 30 second head rush & a tiny dopamine trigger gives you a chemical pat on the head? No real rush, no right red blooming from the veins, no 5 4 3 2 1 7 the subway train hits the station. Jesus son? More like Jesus’ daddy. Not young no more. Poor cousin 18 years my senior left behind two kids after a few days against cancer. Odds are that old age is a thing of the past.

Jack Blare 2017

addiction, alternative, depression, free verse, improvisation, literature, Lydia Lunch, man, Uncategorized

Taste the whip, a love not given lightly

Taste the whip, a love not given lightly

A hand offered in reconciliation

Comes back burnt and bitten.

Advice asked, advice given, never taken

Then they act in opposition.

Lydia Lunch spoke the truth when she said

You can’t save anyone from themselves.”

And we are always our own worst enemies,

Knowing every weakness, crack & tiny flaw.

Like greedy jewel peddlers we examine our lives

Through a variety of special lenses,

Pull them from their homes in the dark

Cut them to pieces, torture them until they shine bright.

Seeking any flaw, however small, to save them some coin on the buy.

I think I care more about pills than people.

Pills are there when none of your friends are.

When the so-called progressives treat ya as a lower class junkie

And as a source for their own fix.

Like bloody-nosed paradoxes that talk & talk about nothing.

We are the scum of the earth, hated for loving our god so much.

No matter the culture the non-addict looks down on the addict.

By nature it must be experienced firsthand.

Not a half g of coke on the weekends, or even every day.

I mean you wake up when you need to use,

The first thing you do is fix.

The last thing you do is fix.

You end up using just to avoid getting sick.

In the end there’s no pleasure in this.

Morpheus drags you down with that holy rush of a kiss

That leaves you slumped against bathroom walls

Gasping for air, content or dead & you don’t need to score anymore.

For your lover & master is here.

(title from Venus in Furs by The Velvet Underground & Nico)

-Jack Blare, March 2018

improvisation, independent, Lydia Lunch, Uncategorized

Kathleen Hanna vs Courtney Love

the insinuation that girls all too small or not tough enough to be in the front of the pit is sexist in and of itself. Some of the roughest bruises I’ve got have been from passionate punk girls in the pit. They didn’t need the singer to tell them where they could go. Its a punk show, anyone gives orders you tell em to fuck off. And come on, who marries a Beastie Boy after losing Kurt to Courtney? Courtney wrote better songs. ‘Suck my left one’ is tough and catchy in a fuck you kind of way but Asking For It? Cake? Jennifer’s Body? Violet? Pretty on the Inside? “They say I’m plump, but I throw up all the time!” Donita Sparks (L7) wasn’t perpetually pissed off so I could listen to her points without feeling like I was being preached to (Points Patti, Excene & Lydia had been making art and music since 76′ When Lydia had to turn tricks to stinking old cab drivers just to get home from a gig. Jim Carroll and Robert Mapplethorpe both sucked cocks in NYC to get by) Starlets are now raking in millions in sexual harassment suits while those who traded temporary access to their bodies for lesser things than multi million-dollar film roles, like cab rides & crack cocaine don’t see a penny and die strung out on the streets. Once again the rich & famous profit while nothing changes for the rest of the world.

Jack Blare

alternative, Erotic, free verse, improvisation, independent, literature, man, Uncategorized


I gave up on true love a long time ago.

Like I gave up the idea that schooling & intelligence were related.

That what goes around comes around,

That bad people suffer for their sins.

That good people hold out their hands for nothing.

Now I am free to love who I please.

That its always now or never &

If it isn’t worse than cotton fever or handcuffs from real cops,

Than watching your grandparents, father, family & pets die

Right before your eyes.

Than the looks of disgust I get from strange girls at parties

When they see my tracks & scars.

When your first kiss never wants to speak to you again.

You never do & never know why.

Like when they find the dope, or hear you making love.

When these things happen enough times you find out how silly it was

That they mattered at all.

To be shy to walk around barefoot, to dive into a kiss.

To tell people your fantasies without fear.

To toss aside the baggage of being young, mentally ill & addicted,

Peel off the label & spend the day in bed with a beautiful girl.

Because the pleasure of a single touch can outweigh the finest heroin

When its from finger of a lover, the lips, the tongue.

The bed, the floor, the grass & dirt become altars to Aphrodite.

I want to anoint you in oil & listen to Sonic Youth records.

You can smoke a joint while I kiss the arches of your feet, the ankle, the heel.

Working my way inch by inch to where fire & water meet.

Until you tremble, only my breath warm and near you,

Opening a delicate flower, I inhale the fragrance of fertility,

So slowly I lick. You say “Mhm!” and push your hips into the air.

A teasing brushstroke, hot, wet, fingers exploring heaven.

Taking me out, all ready, even clear liquid drips from the tip

So warm in your hand. Like a tear of lust, tear of jewelled desire

You kiss it so gently my breath is slow motion

I have a humming of angels inside as you lavish me with attention,

I can’t go back, there is no one like you in the past

Your yellow shift, short hair & peeking nipples.

Bare legs & feet, unpolished toenails.

I want all of you at once.

What kind of beautiful madness is this?

Jack Blare, 2017

alternative, independent, Uncategorized, underground, writing

I Hereby Renounce My Generation

Is it possible to renounce your generation like you can renounce your citizenship?”Millennials” suck. They react before thinking. They think 140 characters can properly express an idea. They champion LGBTQ causes and multiculturalism yet know nothing of the past surrounding it, no idea who Abbie Hoffman or John Sinclair ardor anything about the Black Panther Party & white chapter, the White Panthers and worse, they aren’t even curious. They have made being offended into a pastime. Lou Reed was called transphobic post-mortem for ‘Walk on the Wild Side’ of course anyone who knows who Lou was knows that the song was describing real people that he met, real events that happened. Candy Darling was famous. Not to mention he was in a long term relationship with a transgender individual. It is not against the law to offend people as long as its not hate speech but social media is turning into judge jury and executioner in an informal but universal ostracism for not following the new mores to a T. Suddenly pronouns are an issue. I look androgynous, I have long hair, I’ve been mistaken for a girl and it doesn’t offend me. They is a plural pronoun and implies some sort of collective hive mind or group. Give me a name or I’ll just point and say “hey you.” Of course there was a backlash, there always is, and that came in the form of the alt right and “proud boys” who felt their position in society was threatened so they got angry, lashed out, perfect recruits for hate groups, directionless white kids who think that they deserve more and that its the fault of Jews, women, homosexuals, immigrants. Anyone to blame for their troubles. The election was the primer for the explosion that followed. The divide between left and right, white and black has widened to a chasm. War hawks on either side chip away at the stone, hoping to start a fight or even a war for ideologies that they learned on racist youtube channels instead of from books. The left is either trapped in an echo bubble or busy arguing with other people on the left, more splitting. This is politics in the social media age. Pop politics. Twitter politics. Simple due to the limitation. Other people do the work and write the songs, only one gets credit.
Hipsters quote Burroughs, punks act like Iggy and dress like Sid Vicious but can’t stand watching a needle slide into somebody’s arm even though they constantly quote Trainspotting. I was deceived. I thought I’d found a pocket of real counterculture but they followed the education to work path and sidelined talent that could’ve changed lives in exchange for being “normal” but they still think they’re the cool kid from college who took risks and treated people right when really they’re on the other side of the desk now. Embracing everything they mocked mercilessly and shouting down opinions that you so often loudly espoused. Collages to uninventive memes. Experimental music, punk, no wave, replaced by vapourware. The electronic music scene’s answer to elevator music. Sons of rich fathers slumming it for fun. Then back to work or wife or whatever. I can’t stand watching people watch TV. So much potential pissed away and on the decline. For them morphine is a fun story that happened a couple times, I used it to turn everything into white noise and shadows. To kill a mental pain. Friends get fat, guts and beer bellies, chronic alcoholism that still thinks its superior to me for not using a needle. I never ended up outside naked covered in my own shit after a good fix, they can’t say the same, about 80 fluid ounces of hard liquor a night, cigarettes and cocaine. Rooms full of silent disconnected people absorbed by smart phones and other technology. Does it call? Does it text? Thats all I want. I don’t want to end up hooked on media like some people, always taking pictures of themselves. Narcissistic personality disorder, if this aint a symptom then what is? Lots of talk, opinions on anything. Do? Not so much. Government sanctioned, pre-approved protests inside pig pens of riot cops. Chanting slogans won’t change a damn thing except drive people away. We never grew up. Young forever and assured in our beliefs like children, easy to upset, forever immature and emotionally empty. But its time to move on, from this scene, this city, these drugs. Inspiration lies elsewhere now, and I am a poet to the death in a time when nobody even reads anymore. All sexuality no emotion, tension, building desire. Coffee and a fuck. Friends turned from adventurous hippies to pretentious hipsters, infinity sign tattoos and all. Cause they need outside validation, they are insecure. They are chameleons changing depending on the situation and the company. Deadbeat dads and burnouts that could have been rock stars. It was meaningless, the opportunity fades. I tried to live the regular boring life with a regular girlfriend and no drugs and it sucked. Enjoy the next 40 years of it. True love is for movies, my. love is unchained and nameless.
All that stupid punk, hippy, PC bullshit they spew, even their alternative music is mainstream. I aint a millennial. Generation Y.

Social Media is a Dive Bar

The digital age’s version of a crappy, all ages dive bar. Everyone is making up stories, embellishing stories & trying to seethe has the best story. Arguments are not weighted by truth or facts, merely by opinion & on how many other patrons happen to agree. A million people can be wrong.


Self-important assholes steeped in the disgusting swampy stew of their own narcissism try to talk over one another, getting louder & louder until it becomes a cacophony of loud, stupid voices. Look at me, look at me! Anything for the attention of total strangers. They will debase others, debase themselves, show each other pictures of cocks & tits in a vain search for validation.


Fights break out constantly over the most inconsequential points, folks turn rabid behind the safety of the screen, which acts as bouncer for this all ages loser’s club. You can barely understand a fucking word anyone says because they can’t even put together a proper sentence, let alone engage in civilized, intelligible conversation. There are regulars who sit there day & night until their asses can’t be distinguished from the material of the tacky stools they sit on.

Instead of bringing people together to relax, enjoy a beer with some friends & forging friendships with friends of friends who enjoy the same things it tears people apart with angry rants & atonal apologies, ripping apart real life relationships as people spit, hiss & snarl at each other, vying for attention from the mob.


Ostracism is back in force & if someone doesn’t follow the currently agreed upon values of society the pack descends on them & rips them to shreds without regard to truth or justice. Death threats, & personal information maliciously shared. The 21st century version of call Cathy for a good time scrawled in permanent marker on the bathroom stalls.


Its sickening to see how people act, how they could & would act given the chance. Mob justice with a five minute memory has people saying things they’d normally keep to themselves. Complex political issues are boiled down into single photos with propagandist slogans from all parts of the political spectrum.


If you do not conform to every single thing the mob wants they will beat you down, call you every name, discredit every word you say all in the name of free speech & equality, arguing about privilege while holding phones with internet access worth more than entire villages while the workers who mine, assemble, & dispose of the machines face unsafe conditions, late or unpaid wages & health problems can’t even afford the product they make. All so rich people can waste their time arguing over which one of them is the least privileged. You got a computer with internet access & electricity to power it? You’re fucking privileged.


The real poor & oppressed don’t get the chance to take part in these discussions. Their internet is censored. Criticize the government & they disappear. The money for internet, power, fucking cell phone plans has to go towards rent, paying debts, scoring dope, scrounging enough to feed their fucking family. It is a privilege to have the money & free time to argue about privilege. These opinion based discussions happen inside the bar, the truth decided by personal biases, the rest of the world is the homeless person begging for change outside. Click a like, sign a petition, join a group that aligns with your worldview & reject every other.


People take everything personally, just as drunks tend to do, they react angrily to perceived slights, just as drunks tend to do, they get loud & belligerent, trying to attract as much attention as possible, like peacocks doing whiskey shots & pontificating for their adoring “friends” who wait for the create to say something “wrong” & then start pecking & screeching & shitting on each other in an unbearable orgy of self-righteous narcissism. The floors are slick with blood, shit & spilled booze. The stench of stupidity is nauseating. I had to stagger outside & vomit up these words.

Social Media is a dive bar packed full of people drunk on themselves. For having social in the name you’d think it would promote some sort of unity but in reality being addicted to social media is an anti-social behaviour. Like alcoholics who don’t care who gets hurt when they drive home, people who are immersed in social media are selfish, even if they aren’t in reality. The self presented on Facebook is the ideal self, not the true self. Every interaction is between two or more idealized selves. The real self & online persona are different beings, but only one of them is real. Which are you?

To quote Tommy Lee Jones’ character in the 1997 film, Men in Black: “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.“

-Jack Blare, 2017

literature, politics, writing

The Fall of a Nation

In the process of making America “great” again the new administration is ripping it apart. No longer is it respected internationally. Mexico has been alienated, Canada disillusioned, Puerto Rico ravaged by hurricanes and then insulted by their own “president”. Afghanistan has dragged on for almost two decades, parents and their children find themselves together on the battlefield, some too young to even recall 9/11. It is not considered to have a free press and has violated countless human rights. Racism is more open and prevalent since it has been in the ’60s and mass shootings are a common occurrence. Immigrants are being expelled with nowhere to go while the jobs they did stay vacant. Many top government positions sit unfilled while education standards are plummeting. Student debt is so high that most people will be paying it off for the rest of their lives. Women’s rights are being abolished and the clock is turning backwards on civil rights.

After third wave feminism there came a backlash from single young white men, who felt that their place in society was being usurped by people of colour and women who they felt owed them sex just for being nice. In anger and frustration many of them turned to the far right via the internet, to nazism and white supremacy. Trying to disguise hate speech with the first amendment they became the alt-right who helped move that moron into the Whitehouse and marched under swastika banners in broad daylight. The suicide rate is going up and will soon surpass tobacco, cancer and heart disease as the number one killer, especially for young men. Millions of people are addicted to drugs, a large majority of them prescribed from the system itself. Meanwhile fentanyl is becoming the scourge of the drug world, 100 times more potent than morphine, 100 times easier to smuggle than heroin and much cheaper.

Twitter journalism has replaced real journalism and opinion is more important than facts. The lies are flying so fast no one cares to even keep track. Stadiums are filled with people paying hundreds of dollars to see a hologram of a dead musician perform while ignoring the beggars outside on the streets. It has become illegal in some places to even feed the homeless. They would rather see them dead than in their neighbourhoods. Security is up at airports and borders, where rights are routinely and thoroughly violated. The president is trying to take healthcare away from the poor and the dying, food from the elderly and disabled, money from the taxpayers to fund his lavish lifestyle and nepotism. Elections are being toyed with by the Russians and Putin is now the world’s most powerful man.

All America has is a massive foreign debt and army budget and a large arsenal of deteriorating atomic bombs and nuclear missiles. North Korea threatens the U.S. with destruction and they threaten to wipeout North Korea. Yet almost all of the president’s internal policies have failed, he is by all accounts a terrible and offensive diplomat who goes through staff members almost as fast as he does money. His staff go on TV and advertise his family’s businesses, the conflicts of interest are too many to count. He encourages police brutality and uses them to enforce his will on the people rather than protect them while building more for-profit prisons to house the most inmates in the world, the new gulag. He says America First, an old American nazi party slogan, then outsources jobs to China, which becomes more powerful with each passing day. It is shining with gentrification in some places, while others barely have infrastructure. Its been battered by floods and hurricanes. All this in less than a year.

In Canada we watch and wait, 30 million to 300. Our massive neighbour to the south has almost as much, if not more influence on Canada than our own parliament sometimes, and thats a sad fact. They are our largest trading partner. Thus the Prime Minister must tread carefully. The president goes against almost every Canadian value: multiculturalism, politeness, equality, legal weed and a preference for peace, his election has emboldened the racists and Neo nazis up here, and while they were hugely outnumbered by counter protesters they tried to have their own little Charlottesville, which was confined to an underground parking lot. Still your media prevails over ours on TV, the radio, the internet. We’re our own country but America is the apartment downstairs and the guy that just moved in is fucking nuts. He makes fun of cripples, is scared of blood but likes wars, is always saying racist bullshit and beating his wife and family but the sherif is on his payroll and he walks around with a loaded shotgun, pointing it at anyone who pisses him off. He hasn’t pointed it up, but we’re worried he might, or end up burning the whole house down while we’re all still in it.

America is not what it was. The foundation is cracked and the structure is faulty. Every country has repairs to make but America is starting to fall apart and if it collapses well, I live in the apartment upstairs.

Jack Blare, Monday October 9, 2017