alternative, depression, free verse, independent, literature, Uncategorized

Life’s What You Make It

Rowland S. Howard said that on the last album he released before he died of liver cancer in 2013. Then Bowie and my father, 2016, cancer. I’ve seen a healthy life wither into nothing in a matter of days. I’ve looked into somebody’s eyes the moment their consciousness left their body permanently. These things change a person’s perspective on life. You could spend a decade looking for perfection but you won’t ever find it. It doesn’t exist. Perfection is perception. Experiences & creations are all we have. Everything else is borrowed. Its bad luck to strike a hand outstretched in genuine apology. Pretty soon people will be scared to open their hands to you, as well as their hearts. My heart was a red ball of yarn being batted around by kittens who suddenly became alley cats and sunk their claws into the flesh of the hand that had loved them and would be stroked no more. Sometimes I think of. her, my friend and sometimes lover, but differently than she thinks of me. Now she’d rather not answer and we haven’t talked since the 31st of January. What a sad end to a long semi-relationship. I knew it was bad news. Knew it would end badly for one of us (probably me) but my heart wanted her even as I knew she didn’t love me. In the end. I guess I lost another friend or two this week. One of ‘em I loved but doesn’t love me, its okay because I have Lunch as much as anyone can be loved by a force of nature with a cigarette and glass of white wine. She teases my dreams, Siamese Queen keeping me alive. I made two peace offerings at personal temples & lit incense. Neither goddess deigned to answer me. A profound sadness stole my mind and threatened to direct it towards destruction. I fought my demons the Western way, with sedatives, hypnotics, minor tranquilizers and weed. I know what you’re thinking: it’ll catch you someday and you’ll pay the price for the peace of mind most people don’t need to buy. Well it hasn’t caught me yet and I’m gonna push it  until the whole world feels my fire. Or feels like fire, like living withdrawal hell. Not like I haven’t been there before anyway, and I’d have to dig deep to beat my own record. Who cares about the future? Tomorrow we might die. Tonight I want to feel fine. A couple of drops of ETZ, a couple of Klonopin and life looks way better from this angle. So what if people who once told me to call them for help turn their backs & stay silent? In the end everybody does & maybe I had it coming anyway. Who knows? Who cares? What good is a memory anyway when the days are all sad and exactly the same?

-Jack Blare

alternative, literature, mortal, Uncategorized

Judas Saviour

         In order for Jesus to be crucified and suffer for the sins of all of humanity his closest friend and advisor, Jesus, needed to arrange to be captured and crucified, simultaneously damning himself to agonizing death. He trusted Judas Iscariot with the crucial task of his betrayal. Judas obeyed his messiah but couldn’t live with the guilt and remorse of what he had done and, sacrificing his own soul to hell in the process, he hung himself. Jesus knew he would be betrayed because he arranged for it to happen. Without Judas Iscariot the most important event in Christian theology could never have occurred. His name became a by-word for traitor while in truth he gave everything for his teacher and his god.
independent, literature, Uncategorized

Everything in Moderation

No moderate ever blew themselves up for a cause. Never killed for their ideals or their religion. Never has there been a headline that read “moderately religious man goes on a shooting rampage, he is known to have celebrated Christmas and Easter and goes to church a few times a year” No, its always “radical muslim bomber” “White Extremists” “Radical communist” Lately its “Radical Islam” we’re supposed to be afraid of. Pff, I’m more frightened of our police shooting me than a goddamn terrorist. I believe that for the West to survive it has to undergo some serious, swift and major changes. I don’t seek to halt the inevitability of change but I want to preserve the freedoms that we’re slowly losing day to day. The freedom of what to read about, which stories are ‘trending’ every newspaper is an echo. Believing in moderation doesn’t mean you sit back and let people suffer around you. It means only fighting ‘Just Wars’ such as WWII. It means picking your battles and not alienating your allies. Because of the under 1% of practicing muslims that happened to be terrorists (ignore the fact that both ides of the Cold War bombed the hell out of the Middle East) now muslims and even Sikhs are being targeted for hate crimes. Who’s fault is that? The fucking radicals, then the bigots, then the drunken frat boys that torch a mosque. Because of those very few radical members, Islam itself is now viewed as a threat to North American values. Unless you can pull off a Hitler or Stalin and regularly keep your underlings in a state of constant fear radicalism rarely accomplishes anything but provide bad press for the larger group, who are embarrassed but unable to cut ties. What are your first thoughts on reading these phrases? Radical scientology. Radical Christian sect. Radical guerrilla forces. Radical anarchist bomber. Right-Wing Radical. Left Wing Radical. How many did you imagine holding AK47′s and wearing army fatigues? Maybe its the ASPD but I don’t think I’d throw my lot in with some group filled with constant anger, confusion & hate, I’’m not in any groups or clubs, I was in a band but they’re all busy blues the drummer is still in Peru.

Jack Blare, 2018

free verse, independent, literature, Uncategorized

Facts, Opinions, Rights & Self Entitlement

Fact: You’re entitled to your own opinion and to voice said opinion.

Fact: An opinion not supported by these is either subjective or incorrect, meaning its worthless. Subjective: I like vanilla ice cream. Objective: North Africa,specificallythe Barbary Coast was the centre of the African and European save trades, long after it was banned by the British Empire or the United States.

Fact: Being righteously offended, whether the insult was perceived to be or directed at you is not a human rights violation. Being offended is a privilege enjoyed by those lucky few of us who live in nations that tolerate their citizens talking back.

Example A) Dreadlocks are cultural appropriation from the “black” culture.

A quick search of history proves that dreadlocks were worn by ancient Celts, Greeks, Hindus and people with long hair. Furthermore claiming a hairstyle as a part of “black” (in this case African American) culture is a gross oversimplification. Dreadlocks are only symbolic to Rastafari culture in the West. Not all black people are Rastafarian. It is a religion almost unique to Jamaican expats and Jamaicans themselves. Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia was a firm member of the Eastern Orthodox Church. Haiti was the first black republic, dreadlocks are not symbolic there anymore than wearing a cross is here and most ancient African cultures seem to have cut their hair in response to the heat . Most glaringly excluded and overlooked is Africa’s huge black Muslim population, who again have nothing to do with dreadlocks yet are black and thus African Americans presume to speak for them. Its comparable to saying that eating sushi is only for asian cultures, ignoring landlocked nations like Cambodia or Laos, or that the Irish are known for their bullfighting skills and olive groves because Spain is also part of Europe and they do that there. So before you claim anything as belonging solely to white or black people, ask yourself if you are accurately portraying the feelings of all Rastafarian, African American, African or Caribbean people, or all Europeans, half-euorpeans and expats.


Social Media is Shit

Facebook got too dramatic over nothing, so I mostly stopped using it. Tumblr is an echo-chamber for radical left wing vultures hunting for anything  that could be construed as slightly offensive & barraging the author with angry messages. Social justice is really social media justice & there is no judge, jury, nor any lawyers, just a bunch of pissed off kids with torches who call out your “privledge” but can’t manage to spell it properly even though Tumblr has an automatic spell check. Its not the government censoring free speech, its the people themselves. Get in line with society’s values or go hang yourself, and you think you’re making the world better. There will always be a backlash, the SJW left created the alt-right. You reap what you sew. I’ve been told I add nothing to society. I’m just “bitching” as a so-called friend said. Nothing good anyway. So I’m out, I quit, not only Tumblr but politics in general. There are no “allies” anymore. Its their way or no way.  LGBTQ people & women can take care of themselves, my opinion is worthless to them. I hate the alt-right and fucking Neo-nazi scum too, so no place for me at that table. Some people understand the difference between debate and argument, most don’t & I have too little time left to waste on people who can’t separate emotion from fact. Pick your battles is not something this generation understands. No wonder the world is fucked. Everyone is alienating each other, I used to care but now I just don’t anymore. Pull the fucking trigger. Take the shot. Everything between when I typed this & when the posts stop was queued. I am out of here. If you need to get in contact with me well, the only people I give a fuck about have my email, everyone on here is an oversensitive twat. Here’s a tip for you all: if your last 3 relationships didn’t work out, it wasn’t them, it was you. True love’s a true lie so enjoy the sex but don’t curse the world with more brats, there are enough already. To quote Bob Dylan, “I used to care but things have changed.” Maybe I’ll be back, maybe not. Who gives a fuck?

Jack Blare

alternative, grunge, independent, literature, Uncategorized

Courtney Love & The Legacy of Misogyny in Rock & Roll

They’re rock stars from two of the most high profile bands in the world. They’re known heroin addicts & drug users, violent, tough and promiscuous. They’re counter-culture icons. They’re still famous even though they’ve been accused of murdering their own lover. They’re Sid Vicious and Courtney Love. Yet somehow Sid Vicious is revered as a punk rock icon while Courtney is seen as a pariah. Lets compare the two.

Sid Vicious: Couldn’t play his instrument. Lemmy tried to teach him and gave up. The bass parts on the Sex Pistols only album were all performed by Mick Jones, the guitarist. He was sponsored by a clothing store & threw up on an old lady at the airport. The U.S. tour got as far as New York before he got hooked on junk and his girlfriend was found dead of a stab wound. He was arrested and released on bail. Then he attacked Patti Smith’s brother. Then he went to “rehab” on Riker’s island and OD’ed the night he got out. Sid Vicious is still considered a rock and roll icon today, even though he was more of a fashion model.

Courtney Love was bullied at school and abused at home. Spent time as a teenage prostitute and model before starting the influential grunge band Hole, in which she wrote the lyrics to and performed on all of their songs over the course of five LPs and one EP. She also wrote and played the rhythm guitar parts for all of their songs. Like most rock stars she was promiscuous, she fooled around with Billy Corgan while she was with Kurt, joining Johnny Cash, Elvis, John Lennon, Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton, Iggy Pop & practically every other rock musician who ever went on tour. Led Zeppelin fucked an underage girl with a herring and basically kept her captive until she turned 18 once they realized she was underage. Mick Jagger wrote a Stones song about having a threesome with two underage girls in Stray Cat Blues. In contrast Courtney Love wrote about abuse, feminism, body image issues, and addiction. Not to mention that Live Through This was one of the best albums to come out of the grunge period. It certainly beat the hell out of Pearl Jam & Soundgarden’s releases. America’s Sweetheart was a solid album, lyrically complex & catchy without losing Love’s trademark sarcasm and hard rock edge.

If she were a man Courtney Love would be a typical rockstar. Even if she did supposedly kill Kurt Cobain (which I highly doubt and is disbelieved by the people close to Kurt as well as cruel to their daughter, Frances) she still isn’t as revered as Sid Vicious, who couldn’t play his instrument, write a decent song and was actually charged with murder. If Courtney Love were a man she’d be revered as an icon, but because she’s a woman she is treated like a pariah. The same is true for avant grade musician and artist Yoko Ono. Its time to stop treating them like trash because they’re women and recognize them as the innovators they are while they’re still alive.

Jack Blare

PS: This is not a forum for discussing whether or not Courtney killed Kurt or Sid killed Nancy, if your comment is about either subject I’ll just delete it. This is about how misogyny shapes our perceptions of female and male rock musicians.

addiction, alternative, depression, Erotic, free verse, independent, literature, poetry, Uncategorized, underground, writing

One Night Stands

Simply aren’t worth it to me. I get the attraction. Easy, no strings attached sexual pleasure from a total stranger you hope not to see again. I understand it completely but it is not my cup of tea. When you don’t like drinking & you go to parties the brutish & peacock-like advances of your inebriated peers become painfully obvious. I get second hand embarrassment from it and it happens between men, women, trans people, gays, lesbians, anything with a libido & a liquor bottle. Now I don’t mean to say that I’m sober at these events, but a coke head, a junkie or a tweaker tends to stay a bit more aware of their surroundings, as crazy as that sounds to most of you. I’ve had to deal with some drunk girl’s emotional breakdown right after injecting a bunch of morphine & coke only for her to pass out & forget all about it the day after.

Even when you’re both sober its awkward. You don’t know each other’s turn ons, you don’t know what will send them into the throes of orgasm or walk out the door. Thus it tends to be boring & lacks intimacy. I would want to at least like someone before being inside of them, once a girl I was chilling with left to get laid with a total stranger then came back to hang out for a few more hours. Like I’m 27 and on a ton of meds, we’re gonna need at least an hour to pop that cork. Also I love giving oral, no one wants to use dental dams, lets be honest. I’d like to be reasonably certain that this is not going to result in a venereal disease.

I don’t think I’d fuck someone I didn’t trust to some degree & I don’t trust strangers at all. I’m not looking for a romantic attachment either but there has to be some kind of intimacy there or it isn’t worth it to me. Why act like a drunken fool trying to pick up girls in a bar? No good relationship I heard of ever started out in a bar. Instead of buying drinks for myself & some physically attractive woman who prefers Beyonce’s to Aretha’s I might as well stay home jerk off because even if we somehow ended up screwing it probably wouldn’t get me off. At least stay the night & spoon or something.

In the end if there isn’t some sort of spark there won’t be no fire. I’m content to watch the hookups & the breakups from my lovely little bubble of apathy & thank god that I don’t have to please anyone but myself.