addiction, alternative, depression, Erotic, free verse, independent, literature, poetry, Uncategorized, underground, writing

One Night Stands

Simply aren’t worth it to me. I get the attraction. Easy, no strings attached sexual pleasure from a total stranger you hope not to see again. I understand it completely but it is not my cup of tea. When you don’t like drinking & you go to parties the brutish & peacock-like advances of your inebriated peers become painfully obvious. I get second hand embarrassment from it and it happens between men, women, trans people, gays, lesbians, anything with a libido & a liquor bottle. Now I don’t mean to say that I’m sober at these events, but a coke head, a junkie or a tweaker tends to stay a bit more aware of their surroundings, as crazy as that sounds to most of you. I’ve had to deal with some drunk girl’s emotional breakdown right after injecting a bunch of morphine & coke only for her to pass out & forget all about it the day after.

Even when you’re both sober its awkward. You don’t know each other’s turn ons, you don’t know what will send them into the throes of orgasm or walk out the door. Thus it tends to be boring & lacks intimacy. I would want to at least like someone before being inside of them, once a girl I was chilling with left to get laid with a total stranger then came back to hang out for a few more hours. Like I’m 27 and on a ton of meds, we’re gonna need at least an hour to pop that cork. Also I love giving oral, no one wants to use dental dams, lets be honest. I’d like to be reasonably certain that this is not going to result in a venereal disease.

I don’t think I’d fuck someone I didn’t trust to some degree & I don’t trust strangers at all. I’m not looking for a romantic attachment either but there has to be some kind of intimacy there or it isn’t worth it to me. Why act like a drunken fool trying to pick up girls in a bar? No good relationship I heard of ever started out in a bar. Instead of buying drinks for myself & some physically attractive woman who prefers Beyonce’s to Aretha’s I might as well stay home jerk off because even if we somehow ended up screwing it probably wouldn’t get me off. At least stay the night & spoon or something.

In the end if there isn’t some sort of spark there won’t be no fire. I’m content to watch the hookups & the breakups from my lovely little bubble of apathy & thank god that I don’t have to please anyone but myself.

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addiction, alternative, depression, Erotic, free verse, grunge, improvisation, music, poetry, rock, Uncategorized, underground, writing

DSM II

We’re all beautiful and immortal when we’re dead!

I’m Johnson! I’m Jones! I’m Hank the First, Hendrix, Janis & Jim.

I’m Kurt’s used spoon. Death makes us immortal.

What? I thought you liked danger. I always fell for the ones that dressed bad all in black, ripped jeans booze & anything you’d do I would JoanJett’s, Brody Dalle’s Patti Smiths… Lydia Lunch’s

Punk Rock Virgin Mary Magdalene’s & I was just a virgin carpenter.

Teens like the idea of rebellion. I was a stay at home loser who found

Themselves used to a dull personality in lines of white,

In coloured pills & needles.

No one else but Jake n’ Mikey had it in them.

If you’re going to do it go all the way, or stick to the plan.

9-5 pay taxes, drink to sleep all week, do blow to stay up all weekend.

Rinse & repeat.

Quiet & peace until you look like a joke out wasted with your single best friends & you chose it. Mix it up, take a girls, take a boy, pick a fight,

But every mainline is a round in Russian Roulette.

Hoping each shot will be the one to shut these people up.

If you’re might not die then you’re not living.

I see my cocaine & raise it 24mg of hydro.

My bird’s heart is flying north & fleeing south at the same time.

Flag, thick red vein blood push, too wired for tired to strung out to care.

One ends another gets prepped, I add an ampule of liquid midozolam,

Handful of beezo pills, old OC & some free Montreal speed.

I wonder if death will be the only cure for this dull night.

Getting buzzed, stoned, intoxicated was boring by the time I was legal.

Each hit should be enough to kill yourself, each failure is just another chemical in the chamber, fentanyl & ice.

Death walks by three times daily.

I feel pity for the ones invested in TV & pop music who want more than

Just rehashed resin.

I used to think Bob Was crazy for quitting Sonic Youth.

Found out he quit, & yes Lydia is a far better kisser according to B.B.

Who’s been in NYC since the factory days.

When I found Dylan the Velvets & Patti were the next to blow my mind.

Then Sonic Youth Death Valley’69 Lydia’s demented orgasmic blood curdling shrieks.

Sonic Youth went indie-grunge trying to get their favour back for taking Nirvana on tour in ‘91.

The Year Punk Broke, directed by a teenaged Dave Markey, a friend now.

It broke because SY had the talent, Nirvana had the soul.

Meanwhile in the dirty downtown NYC clubs where this music is at home….

-Jack Blare

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alternative, independent, Uncategorized, underground, writing

I Hereby Renounce My Generation

Is it possible to renounce your generation like you can renounce your citizenship?”Millennials” suck. They react before thinking. They think 140 characters can properly express an idea. They champion LGBTQ causes and multiculturalism yet know nothing of the past surrounding it, no idea who Abbie Hoffman or John Sinclair ardor anything about the Black Panther Party & white chapter, the White Panthers and worse, they aren’t even curious. They have made being offended into a pastime. Lou Reed was called transphobic post-mortem for ‘Walk on the Wild Side’ of course anyone who knows who Lou was knows that the song was describing real people that he met, real events that happened. Candy Darling was famous. Not to mention he was in a long term relationship with a transgender individual. It is not against the law to offend people as long as its not hate speech but social media is turning into judge jury and executioner in an informal but universal ostracism for not following the new mores to a T. Suddenly pronouns are an issue. I look androgynous, I have long hair, I’ve been mistaken for a girl and it doesn’t offend me. They is a plural pronoun and implies some sort of collective hive mind or group. Give me a name or I’ll just point and say “hey you.” Of course there was a backlash, there always is, and that came in the form of the alt right and “proud boys” who felt their position in society was threatened so they got angry, lashed out, perfect recruits for hate groups, directionless white kids who think that they deserve more and that its the fault of Jews, women, homosexuals, immigrants. Anyone to blame for their troubles. The election was the primer for the explosion that followed. The divide between left and right, white and black has widened to a chasm. War hawks on either side chip away at the stone, hoping to start a fight or even a war for ideologies that they learned on racist youtube channels instead of from books. The left is either trapped in an echo bubble or busy arguing with other people on the left, more splitting. This is politics in the social media age. Pop politics. Twitter politics. Simple due to the limitation. Other people do the work and write the songs, only one gets credit.
Hipsters quote Burroughs, punks act like Iggy and dress like Sid Vicious but can’t stand watching a needle slide into somebody’s arm even though they constantly quote Trainspotting. I was deceived. I thought I’d found a pocket of real counterculture but they followed the education to work path and sidelined talent that could’ve changed lives in exchange for being “normal” but they still think they’re the cool kid from college who took risks and treated people right when really they’re on the other side of the desk now. Embracing everything they mocked mercilessly and shouting down opinions that you so often loudly espoused. Collages to uninventive memes. Experimental music, punk, no wave, replaced by vapourware. The electronic music scene’s answer to elevator music. Sons of rich fathers slumming it for fun. Then back to work or wife or whatever. I can’t stand watching people watch TV. So much potential pissed away and on the decline. For them morphine is a fun story that happened a couple times, I used it to turn everything into white noise and shadows. To kill a mental pain. Friends get fat, guts and beer bellies, chronic alcoholism that still thinks its superior to me for not using a needle. I never ended up outside naked covered in my own shit after a good fix, they can’t say the same, about 80 fluid ounces of hard liquor a night, cigarettes and cocaine. Rooms full of silent disconnected people absorbed by smart phones and other technology. Does it call? Does it text? Thats all I want. I don’t want to end up hooked on media like some people, always taking pictures of themselves. Narcissistic personality disorder, if this aint a symptom then what is? Lots of talk, opinions on anything. Do? Not so much. Government sanctioned, pre-approved protests inside pig pens of riot cops. Chanting slogans won’t change a damn thing except drive people away. We never grew up. Young forever and assured in our beliefs like children, easy to upset, forever immature and emotionally empty. But its time to move on, from this scene, this city, these drugs. Inspiration lies elsewhere now, and I am a poet to the death in a time when nobody even reads anymore. All sexuality no emotion, tension, building desire. Coffee and a fuck. Friends turned from adventurous hippies to pretentious hipsters, infinity sign tattoos and all. Cause they need outside validation, they are insecure. They are chameleons changing depending on the situation and the company. Deadbeat dads and burnouts that could have been rock stars. It was meaningless, the opportunity fades. I tried to live the regular boring life with a regular girlfriend and no drugs and it sucked. Enjoy the next 40 years of it. True love is for movies, my. love is unchained and nameless.
All that stupid punk, hippy, PC bullshit they spew, even their alternative music is mainstream. I aint a millennial. Generation Y.
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alternative, grunge, independent, Lydia Lunch, music, New Music, underground

Christine IX: A Profile

Italian post punk, grunge singer Christine IX just released her first solo single and accompanying video, called Black Corolla. IX, who was born in Italy but speaks fluid english, is in the midst of recording her first solo album, which has yet to be given a formal title.

The music video for Black Corolla, which was written and edited by the singer and directed by Salvatore Zillion, has a very professional look, and shows different shots of IX in surreal environments, such as a gothic style room painted white with burning candles and strange, occult items and surgery equipment laid out on a table. as well as playing the bass guitar, lying on a bed with scarlet sheets, or in a strange room, also red with IX dressed in a deep crimson coloured Victorian era style dress and small top hat. Shots switch between IX playing bass guitar, singing on a bed, or writing a letter with an old fashioned quill and ink.

The song makes use of the quiet verse, loud chorus style invented by The Pixies and popularized by Nirvana in the early 90’s Seattle grunge movement. IX’s melodic voice leads off the song, along with bass and guitar. The song’s energy slowly builds until exploding into the chorus with heavy distortion and electric guitar, IX’s voice starting out sounding like Amy Lee’s, from the band Evanescence, then switching into a harsh, punk rock style scream, sounding like a mix of Brody Dalle of the Distillers and Live Through This era Courtney Love, from the ground breaking grunge band, Hole.

Though this is Christine IX’s first solo effort, she is no stranger to music or the music industry, having formerly fronted several projects including, Nahema ( 2003 – 2007) La Starlet Maudite, Danza Di Nervi, Storie D’amore Inventato, and Nobody’s Daughter.

Aside from her past projects, Christine IX is still involved in a number of other bands. She plays guitar, sings, writes lyrics and music and co produces the albums for Shotgun Babies. She also fronts Choke on Mirrors, a grungy rock band and does a project called Lectura Dantis, in which she performs with a loop station based on the words of the Italian poet and author of The Inferno, Dante Alighieri.

With all of these projects on the go, its amazing that Christine IX has enough free time for her solo career, but not only does she sing on Black Corolla, she also plays the guitar for it, as well as playing the piano, bass guitar, harmonica and even the xylophone. It seems as though there is very little that Christine IX can’t do if she puts her mind to it. The lyrics are written by her as well. They are evocatively poetic, and they are beautiful to read in either English or Italian.

Christine IX has released ten albums to date, beginning with the EP Destroy Your Beauty, by Shotgun Babies, which came out in 2008. Her most recently released album is the full length LP, Private Games, which hit the shelves in 2014. Now she has just released the single and video for Black Corolla, which you can listen to for free on her website, christineix.it or on her Soundcloud page. The music video is free to watch available on youtube, as well as on IX’s webpage.

With her musical talent, great songwriting style and poetic lyrics, coupled with her long history as front woman, first for Nobody’s Daughter, then for Shotgun Babies and Choke on Mirrors, it seems likely that Christine IX’s solo album will make a lot of waves when it is finally released. Her style combines undeniable sex appeal, a tough attitude, an Italian upbringing and alternative grungy sort of early 90’s Hole and Nirvana style songs, but a bit more modern sounding and more melodic but with just as much hard rock and roll bite. It seems certain that Black Corolla, and Christine IX’s first solo album, and eleventh as a musician, will attract a great deal of attention when it is finally released.

Jack Blare

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alternative, independent, literature, mortal, politics, Uncategorized, underground

Canadian Blood Services Would Rather Let You Die Than Receive Blood from Gay Donors

The link between HIV and homosexuality was thoroughly disproven in the ‘90s yet CBS will not let any man who has had sexual intercourse with another man within 1 year donate blood. HIV doesn’t leave the blood after one year and affects men women and children of any age or sexual orientation.

Would you rather die than get blood from a homosexual donor? CBS has taken that choice from you. There is no shortage of donors or blood, in fact CBS turns them away on a daily basis on unscientific and clearly homophobic grounds. There is more than enough blood to save everyone that needs it but CBS sticks to outdated and discriminatory policies. If anyone you know has died of blood loss its because CBS is vetoing over 5% of the population who could potentially donate. This homophobic and unscientific process has led to the deaths of thousands of innocent people in the guise of public safety. We need policy change NOW.

Enough lies about blood shortages when you won’t accept healthy donors. They would rather let people die and continue their pseudoscientific anti-gay policies. Test the blood. If it contains blood borne diseases then veto it. If not then it should go to save lives and those responsible for this policy should be fired and have their licenses to practice medicine revoked.

This is a follow up to an article I wrote while still in college seven years ago. CBS employees I spoke to promised change “in the near future.” There have been no policy changes in nearly a decade. This amounts to little more than judicial murder backed by doctors who seem to either be unable to understand how blood borne viruses work or have personal issues with gay people. In either situation they need to be replaced by doctors who are able to do their jobs without prejudice, which CBS has proven they cannot.

-Jack Blare

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